That One Time I Got Breathalyzed...

• Turns out breathalyzing is a regular thing here in Oz. They set up road blocks and just pull people over at will to check for drunk drivers (or 'drink drivers' as they weirdly call them here). These stops are colloquially called 'booze buses' which is hilarious because that's what we called the buses on which we consumed copious amounts of alcohol during college. But, I digress.
• It was Friday afternoon about 3pm and I was driving back to the office after being out with a corporate group of volunteers. I had not had anything to drink that day (despite a raging desire for a nice wine spritzer to combat the 95 degree heat...) but I still went all gooey inside when I spotted the cops. Needless to say, I was fine and was told to continue on my way. I felt this was a bizarre thing to have happen at 3pm in the afternoon.
• WELL the next night (Saturday), Bob and I were on our way to a friend's birthday party in full 1920s/gangster attire (pictures to follow) and what do we encounter but ANOTHER booze bus! Again, not a worry because Bob is a responsible folk and only had 1 drink with dinner knowing he would be driving. Such a good Bubbles.
• The poor bloke in front of us? Not so lucky. Got taken out of his car and a cop drove the car away to add it to the bay of other seized cars. Eeeesh buddy. Not your day. Sadly, I did not get a picture of the guy (even I'm not that awkward) BUT I did get a shot of the whole procedure:

At this point, the guy in the station wagon ahead of us was probably dying a little on the inside.

• It was all very exciting for me and I felt very special. Bob thought I was ridiculous because random stops are so common here and promptly told me that I am special but not for the reasons I think. Cheeky one, Voss.                                                                                     

Off to the Races!

• Horse racing is a pretty big deal here. One such race, the Melbourne Cup, is held in Sydney each year. (Just jokes! It's held in Melbourne. Duh.) Australians call it "The Day that Stops the Nation"--and it does. At 12pm Perth time on the first Tuesday of November, offices across the country stop what they're doing and tune in to watch the race. Women wear colorful dresses and fascinating fascinators. It's all very fancy but for boring reasons, Bob & I both missed out on festivities this year.

• So we went for the budget option: discount tickets to Perth's Ascot Racetrack. No Melbourne. No fancy office parties. Lots of tattooed bogans. We only do classy, folks.

• I joke, I joke. Kind of. About 4 out of 10 people clearly left the house without employing the guidance of a mirror but the rest were quite posh and put my best maxi dress to shame. Boy was that fun people watching. Believe me, if I could have snapped a few shots of the Skyy Vodka reps' sparkly sparkly dresses and/or some of the poor spray tan choices I would have. Next time, my friends, next time.

• For now, hopefully a picture of our sweaty selves taken after the final loss of our 0 bet on the wrong horse. Damn you, Brindle Rose. Damn you.

Hello and welcome to the hottest place on Earth. Complete with horse poop. And flies. Yay Perth.

Picture of our horse of choice...losing.

Flies Ruin My Life

So it's been said by many (including myself) that Perth is uncannily similar to San Diego and I'd have to say it's true. For the most part. The people are definitely warm and friendly in both places. There is a big beach culture and palm trees line many streets. There's a lot of native brush (that, sadly, burns quite easily leading to huge brush/bush fires) and locals really like the outdoors. The list goes on.

There are also, however, large differences aside from the obvious driving on the wrong side of the road and using plasticpaper money. The flies, for one, are not my friends here. They invade Perth during the spring to such an extent that scientists have brought in African dung beetles to help cutdown on the fly population. Despite their origin in, well, dung, I welcome these beetles with open arms. In fact, I would probably carry a few around with me if it meant a reduction of flies. There's also this option:

But I'd probably rather become a hermit than cruise around in one of those. So...yeah. That leaves me and the dung beetles. But why would I carry around small poo-insects with me just to brave the outdoors, you ask? Well that brings me to another difference between San Diego and Perth: their beaches. Yes, both cities have beaches but only one has no seaweed, water like the Caribbean, and sand that's like buttah.

Behold: City Beach Beach and the impetus for my sudden interest in dung beetles. We went for breakfast at a cafe overlooking the beach this morning and were literally attacked by every fly in the southern hemisphere. Bob has advised that the flies aren't usually this bad and I just need to "wait it out." I, however, refuse to give in to these creatures and will instead be obtaining some beetles and heading back to the beach pronto. Of course, Bob will be in charge of carrying the poo-beasts as they are Australian flies after all and therefore entirely his fault.

And Internet Makes it Official!

We finally have internet in the new house so I guess that means we have officially moved in! So many exciting things have happened in the past few weeks that it's hard to summarize it all in one post but I will do my best :)

• We had our first BBQ! Sadly, there were no shrimps on the barbie. Apparently this isn't actually a 'thing' here. Boo. We did, however, have a few friends over for some delicious steaks & hot dogs/sausages. Of course, Eric (Bob's brother, see below) manned the massive grill because neither of us actually know how to use it...manuals are for dummies!

• We got some furniture! Everything is still looking pretty empty but we do have the beginnings of a living room, dining room and one bedroom. More pictures on those as they develop (slowly) but for now please enjoy our chocolate brown leather couches that make you all want to come visit to lay on them!

• Bob did the dishes! We/I have attempted to develop a system in which whomever makes dinner does not have to do the dishes. This is typically observed 1-2 times/week but it's a fantastic rule I hope to extend to all times. Please all be sure to tell Bob how good he looks in the kitchen...

• We went for walks! A major highlight of Perth is that there are tons of parks and preserves dotted throughout the city. We have walked around our area and tried to investigate some of these places. Here is a shot from the hill behind/across from our house:

• We are coming to the US! Flights have been booked and bank accounts have been emptied--we're coming to the USofA! If anyone is going to in or around LA or San Diego 27 March - 4 April 2013 please let me know because we'd love to see you! Also, SoCal should probably start stock-piling Mexican food immediately.

Vocabulary Lesson

After I made the brilliant suggestion that we provide our corporate volunteers with "fanny packs" during a staff meeting today, I felt this was an appropriate time to give a run-down of (some of) the strange-yet-cute vocab I have encountered thus far in my Australian adventures:

fanny - downtown lady parts (Learned this England and unfortunately for me, thought it only applied there)
bogan - redneck
CUB - cashed up bogan (i.e. Duck Dynasty/Honey Boo Boo)
ute - Aussie attempt at a pick up truck except it's short and weird looking
arvo - afternoon
brelly - umbrella
esky - cooler
chips - french fries
crisps - chips
Zed - the letter Z (They even called Brad Pitt's recent movie "World War Zed". Weird.)
Good on ya mate - Good for you/Well done friend
pram - stroller
fortnight - 2 weeks
cheers - Thank you
trading hours - business hours
lift - elevator
sunnies - sunglasses
goon - cheap wine
ranga - redhead (i.e. orangutang...couldn't make this stuff up if I tried)
thongs - flip flops
tomato sauce - ketchup
jumper - sweater
chemist - pharmacy
prezzies - gifts
starched - tired/exhausted (Bob's most used phrase: "Man I'm staaaaaaaahhhhched")

So you can see how my genius suggestion of adding purposeful and efficient waist bags to our arsenal of corporate supplies was received with...awkward laughter. But what I've come to realize is that aside from some of the stranger words (arvo?!) it's basically just a matter of abbreviating everything and then adding -ie or -y. It also helps that I got used to the Queen's English and its misuse of -s and -ou while in England. Don't think I'll ever really get used to "organise" and "colour" though. Sorry bout it, Liz.

Oh yeah...and it's officially Under Offer!

We drove by the house yesterday and saw an exciting development...the Under Offer sign! We'll have to be satisfied with that until the official SOLD sign is put up in October. Squeee!

Our New Home!

• Sooo...we bought a house. Well technically Bob bought the house but I am the owner of aesthetics, ensuring things are more "refined shabby chic" versus "bogan bachelor pad". Either way though, we have a pretty good foundation to work with :) (FYI: We haven't moved in yet so all the furniture are display items from the selling process!)

• This is the kitchen in which I plan to finally unveil my secret/hidden cooking abilities. This will be a shock to everyone (possibly including myself) but I have many cookbooks and Pinterest boards for inspiration. We'll see how that goes...

The biggest thing that we wanted in a house was an open floor plan. Bob and I both have so many memories of family feasts with people moving from the kitchen to outside to the dining room and wanted that for our new place. So now we just need visitors to make this fanciness happen...so plan your visits!

• The one room to which Bob is most dedicated is his self-described man cave aka theatre room. It's a great room (albeit a little unnecessary) but we're excited to watch movies and have people over for big sports games. I also introduced Bob to the glory of reclining couches and chairs. Apparently the American-styled couch potato is not as popular here but not for long! Bob is also trying to convince me of our "need" for a 70" TV. Needless to say this is not a priority for me but maybe he can trade me for a KitchenAid mixer? Just a thought...

• The most important thing all friends and family should take away from this post is the following: massive guest rooms and bath! Shower and tub available for all visitors and you'll note the shower head has some kind of rainfall shenanigans happening. Hope everyone is sufficiently excited for their IMMINENT visits. Thank you.

• We move in on 16 Oct and until then we are doing proper Scott Tillson weekend investigating into furniture options, complete with price comparisons, consumer reports and hours spent at the Perth equivalent of Miramar Road. I'd like to think I know what I want but then I see 25 other things that I want and then I am stymied. Bob's engagement in the process lasts until we pass the first television department which means I'm usually on my own to decide between fabrics like beachcomber ice and beachcomber alabaster and full frame or headboard only. And we haven't even been to IKEA yet. Groan. Wish us luck.